Holden on Health Care, I'm Not Kidding

In J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, old Holden Caulfied, after pulling one over on an elevator boy, and all, confesses, "It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to."

Old Holden may have had something there. I'm not kidding.

Enter the Democrats and their absolutely clear-as-a-bell health care bill. No really, just ask Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who explained to a crowd last night that the bill wasn't even mandatory. You knew that right? I mean that was clear to you and all, to quote my friend, Holden.

Let me help clarify. Obama tells us not to worry because we can keep our health care. He also tells us that abortion will not be part of the bill. Nancy Pelosi tells us if we don't comply with the bill we will go to jail. Then she tells us we have to pass the bill to find out what's in the bill. That woman kills me.

Bart Stupak won't vote for the bill with abortion funding in it, then votes for it. I hate when people do that. When they tell you they won't do something and then do it anyway, he gives me a royal pain.

The CBO tells us by spending about one trillion dollars we will actually reduce the deficit. I am not as smart as these Washington intellectuals, I'm just not, so I'll just take their word for it. Except I recently heard that the calculation was based on ten years of increased taxes and only about 7 years of "benefits." That depresses me it really does.

The president tells us 47 million Americans are uninsured, then he corrects it to 42 million then the number moves to 30 something million until we settle on 30 million and honestly I don't know what number they're using any more. He is lying like a madman, I am not kidding. But it doesn't really matter because we are adding coverage for everyone without any decline in service. I'll just take their word since it's way above my head and I am getting depressed just thinking about it.

I am one of those people that just can't keep track of all the details. I'm not smart like that. They got me so confused, I'm running in circles like a madman. I guess I am just going to do what they tell me. Or maybe I won't. These guys give me a pain.

I am not kidding.